


Some Sly Humor Followed by a Lot of Death

by MyCactusandI



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen, Humor, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 17:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyCactusandI/pseuds/MyCactusandI
Summary: The protagonist isn't going to enjoy this one. Pulled into a mission with The Doctor to stop a psychopathic ghost-thing from using mind-controlled Slitheen to get him some more hosts (you really should just read to find out), he will encounter not one, but two Time Lords and discover that his humor's really the only thing he's got going for him. He will also use shorter sentences.





	1. Parts 1-2

Part 1  
Everything was fine before the aliens popped out and pretty much killed everyone. Those that didn't die immediately lay dying slowly from their injuries. I was the only one that survived unharmed. Well, I guess not completely unharmed, I got a few cuts and a crap ton of bruises, but a million miles better than anyone else.  
Anyone who knew me before these aliens appeared would ask me “But was everything really fine before?” I was always complaining about something. I'd normally reply with a quip about the economy, we'd laugh and continue on with other conversational topics.  
Now, I would definitely say that whatever I was complaining about was not important compared to everyone, you know, dying. I'd never seen so much blood in my entire life. I'd never heard anyone scream in mortal terror or cry out in pain, or even try to speak and choking on their own blood.  
Too graphic? Sorry, but that's how it is.  
It was a beautiful Christmas party, and I would've agreed, had it not been two days after Thanksgiving. My entire family was completely obsessed with that holiday, and started putting up decorations in late October. The Christmas songs started in November and the parties right after Thanksgiving. It was a nightmare.  
But the aliens appeared right around the start of the white elephant gift exchange, and the nightmare truly started.  
Aunt Charlene had just opened a present to receive a potted bamboo plant-- how it had been wrapped, we'll never know-- when she was gutted by a huge green monster that had sprung from Jon Carlson’s body, leaving him dead as well.  
The world around me blurred as panic erupted. People being slaughtered left and right. I ran, dodging the aliens and screaming in-laws and trying to get out of the house.  
I ran into someone and nearly fainted as he grabbed both of my shoulders and stopped me in my tracks.  
“What's happening?” he asked. My mind whirled and all I could reply with was “You're Scottish?”  
He shook me a bit and it helped clear my head.  
“What is going o?. What species is attacking?”  
“Aliens are attacking us. Jon Carlson was one of them. He killed Aunt Charlene. They look like E.T. but super tall and murdery. Is that a species?”  
“I don't think so. You're in shock. Come on, maybe once you calm down you can help me figure out what happened.”  
I thought that was a grand idea, so I sleepily followed him. Someone next to him suddenly spoke and she was British. I wondered why the hell the British were helping me.  
“The Doctor, asking someone to help? Now that's something you don't see everyday.”  
“Clara, she's the only witness. We have to know which species slaughtered everyone but her and why.”  
I hardly paid attention to the conversation as I was led into something blue that changed the scenery to a nice silver. I was helped into a chair and I blinked a few times.  
There was a console in the center, completely covered with buttons, switches, dials, screens, monitors, gauges, you name it. A small door sat across the large room, and a hallway branched off from the main room. The ceiling was held with arches and the top of the console was covered with circular symbols. It seemed strange that the house the party was at had such a room.  
Someone, the man, I think, slipped some sunglasses onto my face. A whirring sound filled my head and I involuntarily winced. I'd always hated high pitched noises. Slowly, my common sense returned, and my brain suddenly began working again. I got a better look at the people around me, and I also remembered the fact that pretty much my entire family was slaughtered by Jon Carlson and his friends. I realized that I was covered with blood. My nice clothes were now ruined. Thanks Jon, glad you can ruin something again, just like you did at my birthday party a few years ago. (He wanted me to cut the cake myself and I ended up nearly cutting my fingers off. I warned him that I was no good with knives, but did he listen? The scars on my left hand give the answer.)  
The man was old, with wrinkles and gray hair. He wore all black and was very tall. I regretfully remembered that I was the shortest adult in my family and I hated this man for reminding me. The girl next to him seemed centuries younger than the old man, with short brown hair. She wore a nice dress and seemed worried. Had I been wearing a dress I would probably have the same expression.  
“Listen. I've reactivated your cerebral functions to get some information. You'll need to sleep for at least 12 hours afterwards or you'll have a killer headache.” The old man removed the sunglasses from my face and I blinked a few more times.  
“So… you seem to know a lot about my ‘cerebral functions’, old man, so why don’t you tell me what’s going on and why you’ve transported me into some sort of spaceship. Did my cousin refurbish her room? I don’t think Stacey even likes space.” I rubbed my head. I was rambling. Was I still in shock? Probably. I’ve never gone into shock, but I’m not sure I like it.  
“You were attacked by aliens. Were you any less observant you probably would’ve been killed too.” The old man grumbled.  
“Doctor,” the young woman scolded as she smacked his arm. “She’s in shock, are you going to be rude to every alien attack survivor?”  
“Wow. Low blow, old man, low blow,” I snapped and stood up. I felt a bit dizzy, and had to grip the chair in order to stay upright.  
“Can you just describe what happened?” the old man asked as he turned to a monitor and began fiddling with it.  
“I told you. Jon Carlson and his E.T. looking friends murdered everybody. Don’t you listen to me at all?” I licked my lips, then grimaced as I caught a few specks of blood with my tongue. I tried not to think about it as I glared at the old man.  
The young woman touched my shoulder gently. “He’s just moody, seeing so many dead before he could help. He doesn’t understand what others go through.”  
“I understand perfectly. The sooner we figure out what the hell killed all of those people, the sooner I can stop judging you, all right?”  
I raised an eyebrow as the young woman guided me away. “Let’s get you cleaned off, he needs some alone time.”  
We headed down a corridor and eventually into a bathroom. The hallways reminded me of one of those stupid mazes at amusement parks which were way too hard for the age group it was targeted at. How Stacey had such a big space in her house boggled me, making me think that this was some kind of underground fallout bunker. Damn, Stacey, your family is crazy. And I always thought she was more of a zombie apocalypse kinda girl.  
The young woman sat me down and grabbed a towel.  
“You know, I can clean myself off,” I said as she began wiping off the blood on my face and arms. The water was supremely cold and I squirmed a bit.  
“Don’t even worry about it, you need some rest.”  
“So… what’s with him? You guys, like relatives or something? I’ve never seen you two at the christmas parties. Probably grandfather and daughter-slash-granddaughter?”  
The young woman chuckled. “No, I just travel with him. Met him a while ago, been travelling the world.”  
“With a man so old? No offense, but he looks over a hundred years old. Can he handle such strenuous journeys?”  
“I’ve never heard of him being described as old. He is rather old, now that I think about it. Definitely got a few centuries on him.”  
I blinked and thought for a moment. “Okay, it must be my head, or something, but it definitely sounded like you just said centuries. As in plural of the whole hundred-year thing.”  
The young woman didn’t even stop as she agreed. “That’s what I said.”  
I pushed the towel out of my face. “So you’re saying that the old man out there is at least 200 years old.”  
“Closer to a thousand, I think, actually. He’s been travelling a lot.”  
I rubbed my forehead. “That’s not possible.”  
“This entire machine is impossible. That man out there is impossible. The things I’ve seen.”  
“That’s… nice. Listen. Can you escort me and that old man out there over to the nearest insane asylum? I think everyone here’s been infected with a case of acute insanity.”  
The young woman gave a smile. “So innocent,” she whispered and tried to dab my face again with the towel. “Listen. My name is Clara Oswald. The man out there, he’s called The Doctor.”  
I frowned. “Just… The Doctor? What’s he got a doctorate in?”  
“I’m not sure, that’s just his name.”  
Great. Meeting a mysterious old man who is over 100 years old, talking with some crazy lady, and watching my entire family get murdered. This has been a wonderful day. To be honest, I was 100% expecting to wake from a coma (after christmas so I don’t have to suffer any more christmas parties) and live on in a sane world. But with each wipe of the cold water on my face, that percentage was lowering, fast.  
We sat in silence as she finished cleaning off all of the blood that covered my skin. She left me in the room so that I could remove my clothes, and I stared at the floor. Nothing was making any sense any more. I slowly removed my shirt and frowned. My binder was soaked with blood and most of it had already dried. I used the wet towel to clean off the wet blood and then slowly removed it as well.  
I spent a while cleaning myself off as a note slipped under the door. I grabbed it and read it slowly out loud once I was sure the person was gone. “New clothes, your size, take the main corridor down until you see the sign for the pool. Turn the opposite way and take the first left. Then unfollow these directions and I’ll take you back to The Doctor. Clara.”  
I folded the note, wrapped a towel around my chest and did as the note said.  
I would describe the closet to you but it might take too much time. So many clothes. I settled on a nice, black button-up shirt with a silky looking red vest, black pants, black shoes, and black tie. There was even a binder that made me incredibly happy. Once I was all dressed, Clara met me back at the bathroom and she led me to the main room, where the Doctor was fiddling with a knob.  
“We’ve returned,” Clara said. The Doctor turned and saw me not covered in blood. He bounded down the steps.  
“So. Are you ready to tell me what happened?”  
“Are you ready to be nicer to me?” I crossed my arms. The Doctor’s face scrunched up for a moment before sighing.  
“Alright. Tell me everything that happened, exactly as it happened.”  
“Only if you promise to explain everything else to me afterwards.”  
“It’s a deal.”  
So, I did. I spoke of Aunt Charlene getting her stupid bamboo plant, of Jon Carlson and some of his friends turning into the aliens and then murdering everyone. All the way up to when The Doctor grabbed me and hauled me inside.  
As the last words exited my mouth, the room shuddered. Huge scratching noises came from the door and The Doctor jumped to the monitor. It switched to a camera outside and guess who was there. Jon Carlson (probably) and his buddies, trying to get inside the room. They too were covered in blood, and yet it most likely wasn’t theirs. Typical Jon Carlson. (And friends.)  
“They’re outside,” The Doctor exclaimed like it wasn't obvious from the camera feed. He began hurrying around the console, hitting pretty much everything in sight. A huge warping and groaning noise filled my eardrums as the room shook even more.  
“What the hell!” I shouted and grabbed onto the railing of the stairs.  
“I’m not sure,” The Doctor panted. “But I’m pretty sure--” he jolted. “They look like Slitheen.”  
“What are Slitheen?” Clara and I cried out at the same time.  
“Deadly species. Well, more like family. From the planet--” another jolt. “Raxacoricofallapatorius. Came here years ago to first destroy it, and then another came to get home. But the last Slitheen was reverted back to an egg and raised by another family. They can’t possibly--” a final jolt, and then another groaning sound filled the air. The room went still.  
I was sick to my stomach and nearly vomited, but managed to fight it and ended up puking in my mouth. Gross. I looked back up as The Doctor leaned back into the chair.  
“Do you impress every girl who comes in here like this?” I asked and walked over to him.  
The Doctor was silent. He actually wasn’t silent, but wasn’t talking to me. Instead, he was muttering to himself. “Another Raxacoricofallapatorian family, perhaps? What do they have against Christmas parties?”  
“Doctor!” I shouted. “You owe me an explanation.” The old man sighed.  
“Alright. Aliens attacked you. There. Explanation complete.”  
I groaned. “No, about everything. Who you are, what this is. I’m sure someone as crazy as you has an entire speal created.”  
The Doctor stood up. “I’m The Doctor. That’s Clara. We a’re time travellers. This is a time machine. I’m an alien, she’s a schoolteacher. Caught up? Good, because we have to figure out what these aliens have against Christmas parties.”  
“That is not what I expected,” I said after a long pause. Clara patted me on the back.  
“It wasn’t what I expected when I met him either. You’ll get used to him.”  
I doubt it.  
The Doctor walked outside and Clara followed, gesturing me outside. I took a huge breath and walked outside. I certainly wasn’t at Stacey’s house anymore. Instead, we were in the middle of a cornfield. I turned around and saw the blue box that definitely did not look like it held a bathroom, a pool, a closet and a huge console. Needless to say, I fainted. 

Part 2  
My eyes jolted open and the first thing I saw was corn. It stretched endlessly above me like it was the sky. It wasn’t, but that’s how similes work. I groaned as my head pounded for a few seconds, and then forced myself to stand up. The corn was taller than me (great, another thing to make me feel short) and the people I was with and the blue box were nowhere in sight.  
“Hello! I’m still here!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.  
A farmer poked his head around the corner of corn. He cocked his head, then pulled out a shotgun. My heart leaped and my hands flew up in the air.  
“What’chu doin in my field?” the farmer asked.  
“I was with people, and I fainted, and I guess they left me here. I can leave as soon as you can point me to where Seattle is.”  
“Seattle? That’s like, a hundred miles away, sweetie. You’re in Montana.”  
I nearly fainted again. “Montana?”  
“That’s what I jus’ said. You hearin’ me, girlie?”  
“I’m a guy, thank you. But can you help me get home? Take me to a bus station or an airport, or anywhere but here. I’ll gladly get off your property.”  
“I ain’t doin’ it for free, ‘guy’,” he mocked. I scowled.  
“Please. I’ll pay the price, I just want to get home.” I accidentally reminded myself of how my entire family was murdered and I felt sad. It was a bit hard to feel sad with a shotgun pointed at me, however.  
The farmer chewed on, nothing, I guess? He didn’t look like he had anything in his mouth.  
The Doctor and Clara burst through the corn and nearly plowed into me. The Farmer cocked his shotgun and I groaned.  
“He was going to help us get home, and you ruined it. The two of you ruined my chances of getting home.”  
“Sorry, Mr., er, farmer. We’re with the corn inspectors, we’ve come to inspect your corn.” The Doctor waved a piece of paper that I swear had the actual credentials needed to be a corn inspector. I didn’t say anything in case The Doctor was bluffing. The farmer seemed to believe it, and left straight away.  
“What? Are you actually a corn inspector?” I asked once the farmer had left.  
“Psychic paper. Shows whatever I want it to show.” He flashed it at me and it was just a blank page. I shook my head.  
“Your advanced technology is making my head hurt again,” I replied with a grimace.  
Clara chuckled as The Doctor pocketed the psychic paper. He frowned and looked around (hey, I can rhyme, er, kind of.).  
“So, Mr. alien, what are you doing meddling with us lowly humans?” I asked sarcastically.  
“I’m protecting you from all kinds of destruction. Do you even know how many time’s I’ve--” The Doctor started, but Clara cut him off.  
“Doctor, calm down. She’s poking fun at you. You’re really on edge today, aren’t you?” Clara asked.  
“You were there, you saw what happened. I couldn’t stop it, I can never stop it. This girl’s entire family is dead because I didn't make it in time.”  
“Um, I’m a guy,” I tried to interject, but Clara retorted back.  
“Yes, but what you can do is figure out how to stop this whole thing from happening again before more families are slaughtered. So you learn to stop behaving like a child, or more people will get hurt!”  
The Doctor fell silent. I felt really bad for provoking that argument. I sheepishly dug my hands into my pockets, and found something interesting. I pulled it out, although it felt really awkward with The Doctor and Clara facing away from each other.  
It was a piece of bamboo. It was perfectly cylindrical. It was odd that a piece of bamboo would be inside a pocket, but it was the most normal thing out of the situation. I slipped it back inside my pocket and sat on the ground.  
Now would be a really great time to remember that I had left my phone at the party. But who to call? My friends probably thought I was dead, kidnapped, or whatever. I thought of Charlie and how he told me all the time that I was worth something. I really needed that now, because my anxiety started creeping back. It wasn’t bad, I’ve never been driven to anything extreme, but it felt nice to have someone believe in you every now and again.  
Most of all, I wanted to go home. I’m sure Rose would let me stay over. Her older brother had an apartment near the Space Needle and an extra bedroom. Anything but to be stuck in a cornfield in Montana.  
A rip and a roar later, another E.T. monster burst from the corn and had me pinned down by my neck. I squeaked as it bared its teeth at me and raised it claws to disembowel me like it had my family. I had a wild thought, and I executed it without really thinking about it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bamboo piece. The alien stopped and looked at me with wide green eyes.  
“Where’d you get that bamboo?” The Doctor asked. I didn't reply as I tossed it into the cornfield behind me. The alien rushed off after it. I took deep breaths and didn’t move. I was shaking pretty badly and was afraid I’d fall over if I tried to get up. I watched as The Doctor pulled out those sunglasses he put on me earlier and slip them on. He looked around, then took them off again.  
“It’s got the same biometrics as a Slitheen, but completely different subspecies. I’m not even sure Raxacoricofallapatorians have any subspecies. I’m going to have to do a lot of research.”  
“Research?” I groaned and pushed myself onto my arms to get a better look at him. “To hell with research. I want to stop these aliens from killing any more innocent people. I’m not sure if it’s going to keep me sane, but it feels like the right thing to do. So I’m going to figure out what the hell a ‘Slothen’ is and you two are going to help me.”  
Clara raised an eyebrow while the Doctor scoffed.  
“I clearly said Slitheen,” the old man said.  
“See. Now you know what it’s like to not be heard. Come on, old man, we can start by helping me up and taking me over to that impossible machine that made me faint when I saw it.”  
Clara grabbed hold of my hand, which I had outstretched, and pulled me upright. The Doctor glanced around until he had chosen a direction and began wandering off. Clara walked with me to make sure I didn’t fall over again. I seemed to have a habit of that. Perhaps the floor and I should be more than friends.  
“So, The Doctor,” I called out. He grunted, not turning his head, acknowledging that I had spoken. “That box. Inside is a different size than the outside. Can you explain that?”  
“You wouldn’t understand,” The Doctor replied.  
“Try me,” I said with a smirk.  
“Trust me. I need small boxes and a pedestal, so it’s pretty hard to explain without those. It’s bigger on the inside, that’s all you need to know.”  
“Thanks, I feel so informed.”  
“Usually he’s springing to explain everything and everything about his wonderful technology. I'm sure he'll return to normal after all of this is over.” Clara smiled. “We'll make sure that everything is fine. The Doctor can help, that's what he does.”  
I licked my lips and sighed. I certainly hoped so, since I didn't really have a family to return to. As I said earlier, I did have Rose to stay with, but it won’t be the same. My anxiety pressed harder on my chest. I thought of my family, how I had told them that Christmas parties in November were stupid, and we fought, and I just wanted to see them again, to apologise, to hug them.  
Oh man, this is getting depressing. I was pretty depressed at the time, but I don’t want to dump any of my problems on you, dear reader. Have a joke.  
Okay… maybe I don’t have any jokes handy. Just think of something happy, and I’ll try to move on from this sad part of the story.  
I saw the blue box once more, standing there. It was hard to imagine such a huge place inside of it, and I really just wanted it to be a different one, one with a normal size inside, one with, well, whatever blue boxes have inside of them. But as the door was opened by The Doctor, my wish had not been granted. Inside was the enormous, futuristic time machine that I had explored earlier. The two stepped inside as though nothing was wrong, and I stood outside, staring at the inside of the machine.  
I saw Clara motion me inside and I frowned. Like, chill, Clara, can I not just look at things for a long amount of time without doing anything? I eventually did walk inside and the change of atmosphere was stunning. I tried not to faint again. I did feel dizzy, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the whole ‘my family’s dead’ thing or if the floor wanted to go steady.  
“So, we need to find out what these creatures are, what they want, and how to stop them,” The Doctor said with a flourish and flicked a few switches around the monitor.  
“And how do we do that, old man? It’s not like we can just find one and ask, I mean one was about to rip me apart, and I don’t think it was willing to talk. Maybe, tell me how much it would kill me, or whatever, but nothing like ‘I come from the planet Raxatorentinofallingapartius and I just want to be friends. Why do people always run away from me when I slaughter their whole family?’ Like, that’s not going to happen.”  
“That’s it. We can talk to one!” The Doctor exclaimed and started pulling levers.  
“Um, that’s the opposite of what I just said, so I’m not sure you heard me. Don’t talk to the murderous aliens. Hear me now?”  
“Oh, I heard you. But it makes it more fun when I don’t listen.” The Doctor pulled a few levers and the room started shaking again. I grabbed onto the railing once more and felt my shoulder pinch in pain. I glanced down at my shoulder to see a rip in the button-down shirt and a small spot of blood. I touched it and saw that a cut sliced my shoulder open.  
“Great, now the alien cut me, too. These things are savage. Better watch out, Doctor, they might…” I released a breath and stumbled forward. Had I not been holding onto the railing, I would’ve toppled over and landed face-first onto the metal stairs, which would not have been fun.  
The machine stopped. I barely noticed as all of the color left my face and my vision filled with dark spots. The Doctor was there, in front of me, peering into my eyes with a small flashlight. I tried to turn away from the bright gaze into my eyes, but his hand grabbed hold of my chin and forced my head to face his. His conversation with Clara was muffled, but I could barely make it out.  
“She’s not losing much blood. But yet her symptoms seem like she’s been losing enormous amounts of blood. Nonresponsive, pale, faint, we could lose her at any moment.”  
Okay, let’s take a break here. The Doctor doesn’t really seem to notice, or care, but I am most definitely a boy. Just putting that out there. Just because I don’t have the things, doesn’t mean I’m not a male. Well, not biologically speaking, but that’s how I identify. Don’t argue with me, just accept it, and I won’t care about whatever you are.  
Okay, back to me dying or whatever’s going on.  
“Well, do something!” Clara shouted.  
“What do you think I’m trying to do?” The Doctor ran off, and returned with his sunglasses and a paper towel. He ripped the sleeve off of my shirt (how rude!) and began dabbing at it with the paper towel. He slipped the sunglasses onto his face and stared at my wound like he was trying to light it on fire with his mind.  
“Doc...tor,” I whispered. “What’s happening?”  
“That’s… no. It’s impossible. And… what it’s doing is even more impossible.”  
“It’s a thing so, so not really impossible.” I rubbed some sweat off my forehead. Every second I felt less real, like I was fading out of existence. Great, I don’t even get to die, I just get to fade out of existence. Like I was never even there in the first place.  
“Doctor, she’s… vanishing!” Clara exclaimed.  
“Wow, it’s like it’s happening right in front of us. I’m doing everything I can to try and stop it, but there’s not much I can do, we’re dealing with time energy here.”  
“Time? Energy? What?” I asked, my voice sounded a million miles away.  
The world slipped away from me like one of those little plastic things in gift shops that are really hard to hold on to. Sometimes they had glitter, little toys, or whatever inside of them and all you would do with them is try to keep a grip on them for more than five seconds. Oh, shut up, you know what I’m talking about. 


	2. Parts 3-5

Part 3  
“...and that is not how you would turn on the second-level osmosis switches,” someone said. This voice was male, British.   
“And this concerns me, because?” another person asked. Her voice was female, and Scottish. I was confused, since the old man was the Scottish one, not Clara. I groaned loudly, pushed myself into a sitting position, and forced my eyes to open. An orange light seared my eyes and made my head pound in agony. I collapsed onto my back and winced.   
The conversation stopped.   
“Um, where did she come from?” The Scottish girl . “I swear, she was not there before.”   
“That’s… odd,” the first guy said and I heard him walking closer. A whirring noise, much like the sunglasses made sometimes, rang near my ears. I winced again and turned away from the sound. “The TARDIS has a shield that prevents unauthorised teleport. She should not have been able to get inside.”  
“I’m a guy,” I hoarsely replied, my voice grating like I hadn’t spoken in weeks. (Simile again, oh boy!)  
“I’m sorry?” the first guy asked.   
“She- or, he, said that he was a guy. So why don’t you listen better, Doctor?” the Scottish girl said with a chuckle.   
“The Doctor?” I asked, my voice returning to normal. I cracked my eyes open to see a man with dark brown hair and a red bow-tie standing above me.   
“Do I know you?” the man who was not The Doctor replied. “You obviously know me. From my future, I suppose.”  
“No, you’re not,” I started. “You’re not The Doctor.” I pushed myself onto my arms and looked about. The Scottish girl had red hair and a short dress, and she leaned against the railing.   
“I am, actually. Have you met a… different me, then?”   
“A different you? Unless you got plastic surgery, then I guess not. Unless there are two of you, which is really, really confusing.”   
The Doctor (he thinks he is) looked me over. He held a long object in his hand that had a little green light on the end of it. He grabbed it in the middle and pulled down, locking it shut, or whatever he did. He tucked it inside his jacket pocket.   
“It appears that you have fallen through a rift in time,” The (not) Doctor said as he stood up. “And breached the shields on my TARDIS. Which only means that you can’t have travelled in space at all, coming straight from one TARDIS to the other. I’m not sure what in the universe is capable of such a feat, but I would love to find out.”   
The (I think?) Doctor began banging around on a console not unlike The Doctor’s, only this console was brighter, it had a column in the middle, and several staircases leading upwards to doors. It was similar, yet so different. I was confused beyond imagination and should I faint again I may just purchase a large amount of Advil. I pushed myself to my feet for what seemed like the hundredth time and looked at The Doctor (I’m really not sure).   
“Well, you know me, then. I’m The Doctor. You know me from the future, so, spoilers! Don’t let me know anything that happens. I like surprises.”  
The red-headed girl walked up to me as The Doctor (I don’t even know anymore) bounced up the stairs and began fiddling with the controls on the console. “My name’s Amy Pond,” she said. “I follow The Doctor around as he tries to save the universe.”  
“So if he’s The Doctor, and I’m not going crazy, then why does The Doctor I know look exactly not like him?”  
“It’s called regeneration. I change my face and become someone else. That’s why…” he flicked a couple of switches before continuing. “I looked so different. Well, will look so different.”  
“I guess I can’t really call you an old man anymore, then. You look way younger now. Damn, now I need a derogatory nickname that is interpreted as a joke for you, too?” I thought for a moment. “How about Bow-tie? Nah, oh! Suspenders. I’ll call you Suspenders. I always thought they looked nerdy anyway.”  
The (I give up) Doctor touched his suspenders and made a face like he was hurt. “They’re very useful. Like holding up my pants. Saves me years of embarrassment.”  
“Sure,” I said and glanced around. “This place looks different too. Have you remodeled?”  
“It changes when I do. Now,” the machine shuddered to a halt. “We followed the source of your teleport. Let’s go see what broke you through.” He glanced at the monitor, frowned, and left.  
“Well, let’s go and see what The Doctor is angry about this time,” Amy said and followed The Doctor outside. I took a huge sigh and exited the machine. The really small box had landed in a clearing and surrounding us was… (I’m sure you can probably guess. It starts with B and ends with oo (And it’s not boo, because you can only be surrounded by ‘boo’ on halloween.))  
“How can a bamboo forest break through your shields? Unless they’re so tall they extend into space and broke them open. Wow, you must be a terrible pilot if you run into bamboo so tall it grows into space.”  
“It wasn’t the bamboo that broke through my shields. Something on this planet did that.” The Doctor licked his finger and held it in the air. “That’s odd, I’ve never been on this planet before.”   
“What, there are planets you haven’t seen?” Amy joked. “You’re 900 years old and you haven’t seen every planet?”  
“There are billions, trillions, of planets that can’t be visited within 900 years, Amy, do the maths.”  
I stopped, my mind whirling. “So, we’re on another planet?” I gaped.   
“A planet with bamboo forests, yes.”  
“I wonder if the aliens are pandas. Now there’s a plot twist, the evil aliens are just super chill pandas. That’s what I really hope happens right now.” I touched one of the stalks of bamboo. “And if Jon Carlson shows up, I’ll probably punch his face in.” That last part I said under my breath, and I don’t think the others heard me. Though, if they had, they wouldn’t know in the slightest who that is. Was? If we’ve travelled in time as well, Jon may be dead, or not alive. Wow, that sounds great, no Jon Carlson!   
“Why are you smiling?” Amy asked. “Something funny?”  
“No, I just… remembered something. Doesn’t matter. So! Ready the meet the alien pandas?” I changed the subject quickly and looked over at The Doctor, who was scanning the bamboo with that long stick-thing of his. You know, the one that made the noise.   
“There are no such things as alien pandas, don’t be ridiculous.” He licked the bamboo and made a sour face. “How do those black and white creatures stand the stuff?”  
“Fine. I’ll go off and check these… woods, I guess? out. If I don’t return, come and rescue me?”  
“Oh, no, no, no, no. You are not exploring this forest alone. Whatever’s on this planet sent you through the time vortex and into my TARDIS, and is therefore very, very dangerous. We’ll go together. And if we run into trouble, you’ll have me to get us out of it.”  
“Wow, confident, much?” I replied with a raised eyebrow, glancing over at Amy.   
“He’s like that, pretty much all the time. I mean, yeah, he’ll get us out of it, but he doesn’t really need to be this cocky.”  
The Doctor didn’t say anything as his little stick thing whirred and he flicked it out with his wrist, peering at the side. “Looks like any signs of life are…” he whirled around, his jacket flapping out, until he landed facing the exact same direction as he was before. “This way.” He walked off and Amy gave me a side glance as she followed.   
The bamboo stalks got thicker as we progressed. It was getting pretty dark and we had been walking for quite some time. Amy acted like she had done this before, and The Doctor wasn’t even slowing down.   
I on the other hand, was having a bad time. My legs hurt, my head throbbed, and I kept running into bamboo stalks. This day was just getting worse. On a lighter note, I remembered the joke! Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it had no guts! Okay, sorry, I'll get on with the story.   
“How much farther, Doctor?” Amy groaned. “We've been walking for hours.”  
The Doctor checked his stick. “Nearly there. The signal’s getting stronger. Wait, no,whatever my sonic has been detecting, it's getting closer to us!”  
“Oh great, the aliens are coming to us. Why didn't you say so, then we could get kidnapped without our legs hurting like hell!” I shouted. “Learn to think again, Suspenders.”  
A low rumbling sound filled the forest and The Doctor glanced around. I felt frozen to the spot as the sound grew louder and seemed to surround me. The cut on my arm stung and I grasped it with a pained expression on my face. The louder the sound got, the worse the pain got.   
“Doctor…” My voice was a rasp as I fell to my knees. Once again, I was on the ground. This whole day was just filled with fun times. That was sarcasm, this day is pretty much the worst day of my life. Oh, you got that? Okay, never mind, then.   
The Doctor was above me in a matter of seconds, scanning me with his stick. The sound of the whirring was drowned out by the buzzing of the forest. My vision was blurry and the world seemed to pass by me in slow-motion. All that was on my mind was the pain.   
“We need to get him back to the TARDIS. Something on this planet is interfering with his mental capacity for pain,” The Doctor said, his words filtering through my ears, the only clear thing at the moment.   
“How do we do that? He’s thrashing about like he’s having a seizure. Can’t you… sonic him or something?” Amy replied.  
“What do you think I’m doing?” The Doctor shouted.   
“Can’t you guys hear that noise?” I managed to gasp out. I felt like I was going deaf, but they acted like nothing was making noise.  
The Doctor vanished from my view. I could see Amy standing up and turning away. In the corner of my eye I could see two aliens, with their claws and their teeth ready to rip anyone apart. And in the middle was… I wasn’t sure. It was a figure dressed in all black that seemed to be flickering in and out of existence at a speed that made it look like it was one of those really old silent films from the ‘30s or whenever that was a thing. Hey, I don’t know that much about history, I failed my US History class, sorry if I’m not smart enough for you.  
“Who are you?” The Doctor asked. “You teleported someone onto my TARDIS via another TARDIS. Tell me why.”  
The figure was silent, the aliens still snarling. For some reason, I could still hear Amy and The Doctor just fine. My mind was spinning and I couldn’t understand anything.   
“She was… unexpected.” This was the voice of the figure. It echoed in my head and gave me a wicked headache. I let out a groan.   
“He,” Amy snarled. “Is a guy, so tell me why you sent this guy into the TARDIS.”   
“The Creed were sent back to find a vessel. Humans got in the way. But this one… has absorbed the time energy through a scratch, and now seems in tune with the Creed.”  
“The Creed?” The Doctor asked. “They look like Slitheen. What are you doing with Slitheen if you can time travel?”  
“They are effective. Ripped from their home and subjected to my will. Now this human, can be useful. Unexpected, but useful.” The humming grew, although I have no idea how this happened, even louder and I screamed, trying to block the noise out by shielding my ears.  
“No! Leave her alone, I am talking!” The Doctor shouted. The noise receded slightly. “Tell me what you were looking for on Earth.”  
“A vessel, one able to hold my soul. But this human will do nicely.” Great, The Doctor managed to stop the figure from killing me for about ten seconds. The noise intensified until I couldn’t see anything but the inside of my eyelids. And then…   
Two shots.   
Everything stopped. I thought I died for a few moments, but I inched open my eyes and saw someone else standing over me. She held a sniper rifle up to her face and then brought it down as the two aliens (the Creed? I guess?) fell down with bullet holes straight through their heads.   
“Come with me if you want to live.” The person above me said as she held out a gloved hand to help me up. Grateful and ready to take help from anyone right now, I took it and stood up.   
“You didn't have to kill them!” The Doctor yelled.   
“They were about to kill our friend here, so I don't think I had much choice.” Her voice was rough and made her sound like one of those badasses that survive zombie apocalypses.   
“We could’ve talked them out of it. I was working on it, you didn’t need to interfere!”   
The girl raised an eyebrow. “Really, bow-tie man? If I hadn’t interfered, you would not only be fighting The Creed, but Drake in a brand new body. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think you’d want to be anywhere close to that. Come on, before Drake comes back with more soldiers.” She dragged me behind her (dragged wasn’t really the word, more like she walked away and I decided to follow because she is totally awesome) and strapped her rifle back to her back.   
The Doctor trudged up next to her and Amy followed behind me.   
“Okay, listen. I don’t think you know who I am, but I’m The Doctor.”  
“Thanks, now I know your name. I don’t care who you are. Just be thankful I saved your lives and that’s all I want. Now you three have got to get off this planet and somewhere where Drake will never find you. That guy is bad news.”   
“Who even was that? You called him Drake?” I asked. I also wondered why I suddenly felt fine, but one question at a time.   
“He is a terrible man. Born on Earth, he discovered a vortex manipulator in a museum. He stole it and then tried to use it, but ended up inside the Void Galaxy. He was held there for years while the darkness tormented him. He was corrupted and turned into a wraith, able to possess a vessel. Every now and again he needs a new one, or rather, wants one. Says he ‘needs a fresh look on life’ or some crap.”  
“You know an awful lot about Drake,” I said.   
“Yeah. He’s kinda my boyfriend. Was my boyfriend. Was. He took me along pretty much wherever until he stole the vortex manipulator. Someone picked me up and dropped me off here, right where Drake showed up as the wraith. He asked me to join up with him, we fought, and I broke up with him.”  
“Hell of a breakup, then. Boyfriend turned into a wraith and tried to murder people,” Amy said from behind me.  
“I try not to think about it too much. Makes me want to put a bullet through his head. But anyway. More questions, I’ll answer ‘em.”   
“What did he do to me?” I asked. “Felt like an entire symphony was playing in my ears and the cut I got from the Creed felt like someone was pressing a burning hot blade into my arm.” (Wow double action on those similes, I am on fire!)  
“Time energy leeched into the cut when the Creed went through the time vortex. Made you a perfect vessel for Drake. I guess the pain and stuff were side effects.”  
“I have a question,” The Doctor said. “Who are you and who made you an expert on Slitheen? On time energy?”  
The woman stopped and turned on The Doctor, somehow towering over him despite being less than six feet. He jumped back a bit, surprised by her getting all up in his face. I have to admit, it made me laugh. A lot. Not then, of course, but whenever I think of it I just break out laughing.   
“Listen to me, bow-tie. You’ve been here, what, two hours, tops? I bet you know all about what’s going on here.” I can see the sarcasm dripping from her words. “You know a lot more than someone who’s been here for five years, eating dead Creed meat and drilling for water, trying to convince a wraith to stop sending aliens to find a new body and killing anyone that won’t work from him. You know better than someone who has to contemplate shooting their own ex-boyfriend, knowing that the person they loved was somewhere within that mask and that if they did it, they’d never see them, ever again. So go ahead, Dr. Bow-tie, educate me on what I so obviously don’t know. I dare you.”  
They had a pretty intense staring match with The Doctor raising his hand and opening his mouth like he was going to say something before The Doctor broke eye contact and stared at the ground.  
The woman turned and kept walking, and Amy and I followed, this time The Doctor walking slowly at the back of the group, dodging bamboo while he stared at the ground.  
“I’m sorry, he doesn’t know when to stop. It’s like he has to prove he’s the smartest,” Amy said after a while.   
The woman didn’t respond at first. But eventually, she chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to finally meet people, no matter how rude they appear to be. I’m sorry.”   
I put my hand on the woman’s shoulder and she turned. “Nice to formally meet you. My name is Nick.” I held out my hand.   
“Well, hello, Nick. I am Navy.” Navy shook my hand and we grinned.   
“Amy,” Amy added in and shook both of our hands as well.   
The Doctor looked up impatiently and I chuckled. “Come on, suspenders, it isn’t a party without you.”  
He walked up slowly, and he grinned. “I’m The Doctor, and I have a way to get you off this planet.”  
Navy shook her head. “This is my obligation. I can’t leave Drake here alone with his army of aliens. Either we lock him up or we stay here. I can look after myself.”  
“I have an idea,” I said. “We can figure out how to turn Drake human again and you two can live together and go on a honeymoon without him trying to take over someone’s body.”   
“That might work. But how?” Amy asked.   
The Doctor pondered this. “If we travel to the Void Galaxy, I’m sure we can find some answers. Let’s go!”   
“I’ll stay here and make sure Drake doesn’t send any more Creed,” Navy said.   
The Doctor pulled out the stick he had and pointed it at a key he had also pulled out. “Amy, take this and stay with Navy.” The Doctor passed his stick-thing at her and she caught it. “Tune it to wavelength 12.453 and whenever you need us, it’ll send a message, draw the TARDIS straight to you. I’ve got the key and I’ve just activated it, so I can summon it in case we also need it. Perfect plan. Nick and I will go check out the Void Galaxy.”  
I chuckled. The Doctor seemed to like it when he thought he was being clever. I mean he was pretty smart with the whole rescue plan, but it was funny to see him so excited. He dashed off and I grudgingly followed, despite the fact that running was not for me.   
We eventually found the machine where we left it, and I caught my breath. The Doctor had slowed down to match my pace once he realised that I was a really slow runner. I really needed to get into shape if I was going to save the world from the Creed and Drake. Who knew the hero business required so much effort? I just thought that the hero lifestyle would pick someone more athletic for stuff like this.   
The Doctor stepped inside and I followed, still a bit dizzy from the whole size-difference thing. “So what is this, then? Like, I know it’s a time machine, but it’s got to have a name, right?” I asked.   
“It’s called the TARDIS. Stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. I’ve been with her for over 900 years now. Glad she hasn’t dumped me somewhere and left, although she might do that eventually.”  
“She? It’s alive?” I raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t think time machines have life.”  
“Oh, yeah, she’s got a heart and a soul and a temper.” The TARDIS shook a bit when he said that last part. “Oh, sorry, sweetie. It’s true, though.”  
“Wow. A crazy guy with a living time machine. Definitely not who I thought I’d find after a really early Christmas party.”  
“I prefer mad man with a box, thank you,” The Doctor said as he started flying the TARDIS.  
“Wow, sorry, didn’t know you had a nickname already. Figured you didn’t know you were a dork.”   
“If you want to get along you really shouldn’t insult me. Maybe me from the future doesn’t mind, but we’re completely different, trust me.”  
“Oh, I know, I’ve met you from the future.” I suddenly realised something. Had I really been a dumbass this whole time? I hoped not. “Doctor, if I’ve met you from the future, then how come he didn’t recognise me, or what was happening? Surely he’d remember, yeah?”  
“Don’t ask me, I don’t know. But since you told me, It’s going to happen whether I forgot or just lied. Can’t change time when you know what’s going to happen, creates a whole paradox and they’re really hard to clean up.”  
“So, interfering with fixed time is like bleeding on a white carpet?” I asked (I am the master of similes. Suck it, Ms. Thompson!)   
“Exactly. See, you’re the first person to really get it. Everyone always asks, ‘but we can still change it’, or ‘I really love my dad, I’m going to save him anyway’. It never ends well.”   
“Oh. I’m sorry. I guess you’ve lost a lot of people. You don’t have to talk about it, we can just concentrate on the Void Galaxy. Although… we might not see anything, as it is called a void. We won’t be able to see what turned Drake into a wraith. Man, we really don’t think things through.”  
“The Void Galaxy orbits around a very rare star known as a black sun. It casts something called a dark light. You can see things, but you can’t. It’s hard to explain. It functions as light, and as far as your eyes and vision centers are concerned, it is. But it’s colored completely black, so there’s nothing to give color. Imagine night in a black and white movie, and it’s around that kind of view.”  
“Okay... that’s confusing. Glad to know that I’ll be able to see, but not. Really helps.”  
The Doctor flashed me a look and I raised my eyebrow.   
The TARDIS landed. He checked the monitor. “Here we are, the Void Galaxy. Planet Deyyam. That’s ghost in their language. Makes the best sense for a wraith to form there.”  
“Wow, planet ghost. Spooky. I’d better be terrified or I want my money back.”  
The Doctor ignored me (How rude, my joke was hilarious) and exited the TARDIS. I ran out after him and stopped as I exited the time machine. The Doctor’s explanation on dark light, yeah, that’s the best I can describe it as well. I could see things but I couldn’t. Wonderful description, unable to convey something as simple as how the world looked. Oh well, at least The Doctor was visible… I think.  
“There should be a city here,” The Doctor said. “This should be the exact center of their capital city. But there’s nothing at all.”  
“Maybe they took the city and pushed it somewhere else?” I suggested.   
“You can’t push a city, where did you get that idea?”  
“Hey, you got any ideas, suspenders?”  
The Doctor grumbled and kept on walking, looking around at the darkness. “The city wasn’t pushed. Whatever can turn humans into wraiths can’t push buildings. No… it’s just vanished.”  
“Where’d it go?”  
“Hello!” The Doctor shouted into the darkness. “Is anyone there?”  
“Man from Gallifrey, so far from home,” a voice whispered. I turned around, only seeing the TARDIS. I wasn’t sure why, since it sounded like the voice came from everywhere.   
“Who are you? Where are you?” The Doctor shouted back.  
“A man so bored he ran to roam.”  
“How do you know that?”  
“We peer inside your mind, Time Lord.”  
“Yo! Voices! Care to explain?” I tried to shout at the darkness, but it felt like my voice was going nowhere.  
“One who uses words as a sword.”  
“If you can see into my mind, then you know why we’re here.”  
“Four people seemingly sprung from a tale. Three to live and one to fail.”  
“Fail? Who’s going to fail? Does that mean die, ‘cause I’m pretty tired of people dying.” I started to worry. Someone was going to die? Oh boy, now I’m in too deep.  
“To save the boy from within the ghost. To lose the one you trust the most.”   
Crap. More death.   
“Tell us how to do that, then? How do we turn Drake human again?” The Doctor cried out.   
“Only humanity can save him now. ‘Til to his monster does he bow.”  
“Well, great. A cryptic message that makes no sense. His humanity will turn him human? Wow so specific, I hope we get another message that says ‘you two are destined to breathe at least once in the next few minutes.” I took a breath, and The Doctor took one, and thus my prediction was complete. Maybe I have what it takes to be a fortune-teller, as long as I rhyme and make really obvious statements. Yeah, future career!  
“A prophecy. That must be what we need. Just have to analyze it and…” The Doctor straightened his bow-tie, placed his hands behind his back, and started thinking. He paced back and forth and he looked like he was really concentrating.   
“Voices! Can we get a better answer? I’d like to phone a friend, please!” I shouted at the sky.   
“Your impatience is slowing you down. Take a long hard think to get the crown.”  
“The crown?” Suddenly a beautiful crown materialized in front of me. It glowed a miraculous gold with obsidians (my favorite gem, how did they know?) embedded within. I was captivated. I wasn’t much for flashy, but this just drew me in like nothing else ever did.   
I took a few steps closer. I decided I needed the crown. My fingers brushed the gold and I shivered. But something stopped me. Dread filled my stomach and I wasn’t sure if the crown was for me. It kinda felt like I was stealing it if I grabbed it. I licked my lips and my hand shook.  
“Take the crown or fall into your doom. This place will become a palace not a tomb.”  
I took hold of it. It felt cold and dead in my hands.   
“On your head the crown does go. Or you shall be making a dangerous foe.”  
I raised it up.   
“Nick? Nick, no!” The Doctor shouted.   
“The man with the machine has lied many times. More than enough for two lifetimes.”  
I put it on my head.   
The world fell away from me and all I could feel was death.

Part 4  
I saw it. I saw the void. It was soul-crushingly empty. Nothing surrounded me. Nothing followed me. Made me feel like nothing.   
My name was echoing along the walls that didn’t exist. I walked inside a hallway that wasn't there. My feet hit the nonexistent floor like I was wearing steel-toed boots.   
I felt heavy, I felt real. This contradicted the world around me. I needed to be nothing, but only so I could be everything. It was a strange concept, but it was all I knew. The other world had faded away. I didn’t need it, I didn’t want it. It weighed me down.   
“Nick…”   
There it was. The thing that defined me, the thing that kept me out of place. The word. The name.  
“Nick…”  
“Stop!” I shouted. “I do not exist, I don’t want to exist. Why do you betray me!”   
“Nicole…”  
“That is not me, that was never me, leave me be!”  
“Remember who you are…”  
“Was that a damn Lion King reference? Stop!”   
Hold on. The Lion King, part of a life. Part of Nick’s life. My life. I was Nick! I needed to survive! I had to save Drake, I had to save Navy, save Amy. And The Doctor, I had to save him too.   
I shouted and tugged and jumped, breaking free from the void. But it didn’t move. I roared and punched and stomped.   
I remembered. I grabbed the nothingness around my head and pulled. I yanked and I tugged, and inch by inch it edged off of my head. With a pop, the world returned and I fell. I landed on the ground that was there, and The Doctor peered over me with concern.  
I laughed. I laughed harder than I’d ever laughed in my life. The Doctor got more concerned. I slapped the ground and felt the crown by my side. I grabbed it and threw it as hard as I could and it vanished.   
“Are you alright?”  
“I was saved by the Lion King,” I managed to gasp out.   
“What?”  
“I’ll explain later. Right now we have to get to Amy and Navy.”  
“But we don’t know how to save Drake. I’ve been trying to get answer from the voices, but they kept silent.”  
“I have a plan. I came up with it while I was surrounded by literally nothing. Well, once I got over the whole ‘I’m nothing’ feeling. Thanks, Mufasa.”   
“What is it?” The Doctor asked.   
“Get back to Amy and Navy, save Drake. Please keep up. Come on!” I got up off of the ground and dashed back to the TARDIS, which, luckily, was still there. I tugged on the handle, but it wouldn’t budge. The hell?”  
“I got this.” As The Doctor touched the handle, the TARDIS vanished.   
“Great. Just great.”   
The Doctor pulled out a key, and it was glowing. “We give it a few minutes as it goes and saves Amy and Navy, then we pull it right back.” But as The Doctor held it up, it vanished.   
“The ones who talk a lot and never stopped. Shall never leave such locks unlocked. In order to save the box from peril. One must succumb to the most feral.”  
“Crap. What does that mean? The most feral?”  
“You said you were feeling like you were nothing. Does that mean that once you accept it, it affects your mind? Maybe to the point of being wild?”  
“That’s it! But I don't ever want to feel like that again. Oh god, do I really have to do it?”  
“Without that key, we’re trapped here forever. I’d never ask you to do this, but if you don’t, then I’ll have to.”  
“No, Doctor. I will not let you become feral. That sounds bad. You can handle me if I get out of control, just make sure you don’t leave me like that for too long. I’m pretty scared.”  
The Doctor placed a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to.”  
“If the Lion King can bring me back, anything’s possible. I feel like I have to do this. Let me.”  
Well, I shouted at the sky again until the crown appeared again. I didn’t feel drawn towards it, now it looked bad. Like, really bad. Like ‘don’t ever touch this it’s bad’ type of bad. I grabbed it and it felt even deader, if that’s the phrase. I gave a longing look at The Doctor before I slipped it on my head and became nothing.   
Okay, this next bit is confusing. I remember what it felt like, but not what I did. The Doctor knows what I did, but not how I felt. So, I’m going to combine them and hope that it’s accurate enough to make sense. Because if it doesn’t, then I’ll be sad, and the story will basically fall apart.   
Ready? Let’s go!  
I landed on the floor after a long time of trying to feel like nothing. It took a while, or it felt like I did, so I was pretty exhausted. But now as I got to my feet, the sight of the dark light was a welcome friend.   
A man was there. A past life may have known him, but this man was a stranger. He glowed in the darkness, and the glowing made me mad. I wanted to shout ‘Hulk smash!’ and destroy him, but something held me back. I clenched my hands and looked at the man with angry eyes. I had the angry-looking eyes, not him. I don’t remember what eyes he had.   
“Nick. It’s The Doctor. Are you alright?”  
“In the world of many parts. Bring me one of this Time Lord’s hearts.”  
I spurred into action. My eyes were fixed on the man’s chest. I didn’t care that the voices said hearts, plural. I didn’t care what they called him. A lord of time? Stupid name anyway. I charged at him full speed, which was faster than expected. He slipped out of the way at the last second and I had to wildly stop and charge again.   
“Nick!” The Doctor shouted. Wait, the man had a name? Did he have a doctorate in something? I didn’t think much on it as I ran at him again. And again. And again. The man wouldn't stop and let me murder him. I thought that was rude and finally used my brain. As he dodged out of the way this time, I reached out my hand and it caught on his suspenders. Something happened and I let go.  
The hell? Why’d I do that? I wanted to kill him, not grab onto his clothes. I roared in frustration and ran at him a sixth time, this time grabbing his shirt collar. He yelped and fell onto his side. I pounced on him, holding his shoulders onto the ground and keeping his legs from moving with my own.   
“Stop! You don't want to kill me, Nick.” The man looked into my eyes, but I just glared back. I dug my fingernails into his shirt and ripped the entire thing in half, buttons flying everywhere. I didn't know I was that strong, damn. I saw his chest and just imagined the heart I would pull out of The Doctor's chest.   
That name again. I paused. But I shook my head and placed a hand over his heart. I could feel two heartbeats, but I was focused on only one.   
“This command is dull, so we find. Time to take over his body and his mind.”  
Now I could feel power rushing to my core. My fingers tingled and I felt lightheaded. My hands started blurring in and out of reality, and I have to admit, it felt pretty damn good. I pushed my hands through the man’s chest and I could feel his entire being, pulsing as one to keep his life flowing. It overwhelmed me at first and I nearly fell face-first onto his chest. Wow, fangirl much?   
Where'd I learn that word? Sounds terrifying.   
“Nick, no! Snap out of it. My mind will destroy yours! I need you to find the key! Block out your thoughts and concentrate on your life, on Nick’s life.” The Doctor sounded like he knew what he was doing.   
“His words trick and deceive you. Do not listen to him no matter what you do.”   
I bared my teeth at the man and pressed forwards, my hands sinking deeper into his chest and the intense feeling grew stronger. As I leaned deeper, I finally located his thoughts. They rushed past me at a million miles an hour. I gasped like I was coming up for air after spending an eternity in the swimming pool. (Wow, even now I’m a wonderful simile maker. Yeah, go me!)  
“No, Nick, look. See for yourself who you were. Who you still are. Remember who you are.”  
Crap, another--no, the same-- Lion King reference. I roared (like a lion, how about that) and saw his thoughts. I saw myself putting the crown on and becoming this… thing. I fell onto my back. Jeez, ground, you're being a bit clingy, back off.   
My hands settled back into reality and the fog that covered my eyes drifted away. I had no idea what had just happened, but I did know one thing. I knew where the key was.   
“Suspenders, we can get the key back!” I cried out. “It was just teleported back into your pocket. The voices were playing us, I didn't have to do… whatever I just did.”  
No response. I crawled to my feet and saw him laying on the ground with his shirt torn in half and gasping for air. On his chest were two handprints of what looked like soot, positioned directly over his hearts.   
“Doctor? I have a lot of questions. A lot of them are pretty weird, but I think I have one that takes the cake. How do I know, um, a: that you have two hearts and b: where they are?”  
“That's a long story. Can we just get out of here?” The Doctor panted as he crawled to his feet and fished out the key. “We can figure out how to save Drake on our own.”   
I agreed with him and he held up the key. It glowed even brighter for a second before the TARDIS appeared around us and saw the very surprised gazes of Amy and Navy.   
“What happened? Are you two alright?” Amy asked.   
I opened my mouth and told them the tale of when I literally was nothing. 

Part 5  
Okay, we exchanged info. Amy and Navy got our story while we got theirs.   
Amy got kidnapped by some Creed and Navy confronted Drake, where he tried to convince her to help him do his evil thing. Amy summoned the TARDIS and they waited for quite a long time before we appeared.   
I think my story wins. Well, what I could remember at the time. The Doctor continued it when I couldn't, and I learned that I nearly tore out one of his hearts. That explained the questions I had about his hearts.   
“So I tore apart your shirt? Wow, I'm stronger than I thought I was.”   
“I think the strength came from whatever the crown did to you. You don't appear to have reverted back to normal, however.”  
“The hell you talking about? I'm as normal as... “ I stopped. “As…” Simile powers, don't fail me now.   
The Doctor grabbed a mirror from under the console and handed it to me. What I saw made me nearly drop it.   
I was covered in the soot that was on The Doctor's chest. It gave me the look of a coal boy. I was paler than before (I didn't think that was possible) and my eyes glowed a dull red. I touched my face and it was colder than ice. The soot refused to rub off of my face. Great, I was stuck like this?   
Something felt odd about my chest. I touched it, and the binder felt loose. Not caring about the others seeing me, I basically tore off my shirt and jacket and undid the binder. They was nothing underneath. The binder was binding nothing anymore. I touched my chest in disbelief.   
“I'm a guy. I'm really male. This can't be real.”  
“I think the voices saw that you thought you were male, so it interpreted your thoughts into real life when they turned you into a wraith.” The Doctor said with hands on his hips. “Very interesting, I've never seen anything like this before.”  
Amy and Navy were gaping. “Nick, wow,” Amy said.   
“I'm a wraith? Just like Drake. But why aren't I enslaving an alien race and kidnapping other people's bodies?”  
“My guess is he never broke free from that trance,” Navy suggested. “Maybe he's just following suggestions the voices gave him before he left. And he was in the void a lot longer than you were. I'm sure that left a mark on him.”  
“How do you know he was there for years? Were you there?” Amy asked.   
“No, that's just what I was told by the person that brought me here. Drake confirmed that and I never really thought much about it.”  
“Hey, it kinda felt like I was on that planet for years too. Maybe Drake felt like that. I spent forever in the void feeling like I was nothing. He could've been in there as long as I have, but without anyone there to let him know how long he was in there, he assumed it was a few years.” I grinned, knowing I was out-smarting The Doctor. He did seem a little miffed that he wasn't the one figuring it out himself.   
“Then we can snap him out off the trance!” Navy leaped in the air. “We can save him! Oh, wow, I could just hug you all!” She did. Navy did hug each and every person within the TARDIS. She hugged me carefully, seeing as I was covered with soot. The Doctor was the only one who was uncomfortable with this and acted like he'd never hugged anyone before. I know he had, because that notion was completely ridiculous. Never hugged someone? You mean never lived before. Because hugging is great.   
“Okay, let's go save a wraith!” I exclaimed. The Doctor flew us back to the bamboo planet.


	3. Parts 6-8

Part 6  
Drake was waiting for us. As the doors hissed open, not like a snake, (does that count as a reverse simile?) the figure I had seen from the corner of my vision was there, surrounded by Creed. It turned out he was just wearing an oversized black cloak and the flickering was from him using his powers to try and use my body. He was not flickering now.  
I stepped out and the hood followed me. He knew what he looked like, and he knew that I looked pretty much the same.  
I held out my arms. “Let's go, Drake. Wraith versus wraith. I'd like to see you fight me, I'm pretty tough, you may want to surrender now.”  
Drake said nothing and instead turned his gaze to Navy, who pulled out her sniper rifle as a precaution. She tightened her grip on it to hide her shaking hands. I see you, fear, I guess a badass sniper gets afraid every now and again. That may end up being a life lesson or something. Who knows? I don't. Too busy trying to save someone from himself.  
“Drake, I know what you're going through. You visited the Void Galaxy, landed on the ghost planet, and got sucked into some scheme with those voices. But you can break free if you can just remember who you are. “  
Drake didn't move. Eventually he removed the giant cloak. It must've been stuffy in there, self as it looked like it weighed a million pounds. Underneath was a scrawny, tan boy around Navy's age. Of course, the wraith process made him pale, but not as much as me. He had black hair that was white on the tips and spiked upwards with hair gel. How he still has it in his hair after two years beats me. Maybe it's eternal. Maybe it's Maybelline.  
He wore a black hoodie, torn black jeans, and black sneakers. His hands were stuffed inside his hoodie pockets. He had a scar right above his lip and a nose ring. He looked like a man who never escaped his emo phase.  
“Didn't like the Lion King. Too sad.”  
Crap. The Lion King thing was my only plan. I didn't know how to break him out of the trance now.  
“Another like me? That's new. But why do you stand with Navy and not me? We can relish our powers forever. You know how it feels. With my vortex manipulator, we don't need the Creed to do our dirty work. We can take over the world. We are structurally immortal, nothing can kill us except natural causes. Even then, we can switch bodies before that happens.”  
“Or,” I started. “You can stop this madness and go home with your girlfriend and stop possessing people. Or join up with paranormal investigators and pretend to be the ghost. They'd love that.”  
Drake frowned. “A funny guy, aren't you? We can change that.” He raised his hand and touched my forehead. I felt my humor flood out like his hand was opening up a dam. I slapped his hand away and stepped backwards, touching the spot where his fingers had been.  
“Okay, first of all, that's rude. Second of all, how the hell did you do that?” I felt like a portion of myself was missing, and the feeling of nothing crept back into me. I touched his forehead and before he pulled away I got my humor back.  
“I'm not sure, but I think wraiths share some kind of mental link and can take stuff away from other wraiths. I figured it out with the other wraiths I met on Deyyam.”  
“There are others?” The Doctor interrupted.  
“Dispersed to do the will of the voices.” Drake looked at The Doctor. He hadn't bothered to change clothes, and Drake could clearly see the handprints on his chest. “You have been touched by a wraith, and yet you are unopposed.” He turned his gaze to me. “Why have you not taken him yet?”  
“Probably because I realized that possessing people is terribly rude and…” I stopped.  
“And?” Drake raised an eyebrow.  
“Oh my god. That's it! Navy,” I whirled around to look at her. She was very scared. “I know you're afraid, but I need you to go along with whatever I'm doing. It's the only way to return your boyfriend to what he used to be, although he might still be a bit dusty.”  
Navy looked into my eyes. I really hoped she trusted me, and not a lot of people did that. I pleaded with her through my eyes and held my breath.  
“Okay.” She strapped her rifle back into her back. “Whatever you're going to do,” she said, then paused. I trust you.”  
Alright. Time to put in action my wonderful plan.  
“Drake. If you want a new body so badly, I think the only candidate is Navy.” I heard her gasp behind me (I think I got superhuman hearing along with that strength).  
“Go inside a girl's body? But I'm a guy.”  
“Jesus. Drake, dude, even as an immortal ghost, you're a douche. I think her body is the most compatible with yours, that's why you two fell in love in the first place. Please, trust me.”  
Drake looked at her for a few moments. “Okay. As long as she consents.” Seriously? From a sexist douche to a super nice guy? Drake confuses the hell out of me.  
“I'll do it. If Nick believes it'll work, then I trust him.” Navy stepped in front of me.  
I leaned forwards. “Navy, when he goes in, think of how you two met, all of the good times you two had together,” I whispered in her ear.  
She nodded. “I think I understand.”  
And then Drake started the flickering. It looked more like he was made of dust and slowly being blown away by wind. (I'm back, baby!) He placed his hands right above her chest, on her collarbone. He groaned with pleasure (ew, did I do that when I tried to do that to The Doctor?) Navy’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. The two started to merge.  
I crossed my fingers and hoped with every fiber of my being that it would work. Each second that passed felt like an eternity (I'm so focused I can't believe I noticed this) and my heart pounded in my chest; I wondered if it would burst out and fall on the ground. This reminded me of my dead family. Wow, to think I'd almost forgotten about that. This asshole killed my family! I wanted to choke him for all eternity, but I stayed frozen to the spot.  
Drake slowly vanished and Navy was sweating pretty badly. She collapsed onto her knees and rubbed her face. It wasn't ashen.  
“Navy, are you okay? Where did Drake go?” I asked as I ran up next to her.  
“I guess being a girl isn't so bad,” she said. My heart stopped as her skin paled and soot covered it. Her eyes glowed a soft red.  
“No…” I breathed. She had trusted me and now she was gone, consumed by the one she loved.  
“You're right, she was relatively easy to enter. We are compatible. Good thinking, Nick.”  
“She was supposed to help you!” I shouted. I could feel tears ripping from my eyes. “She was supposed to remind you of who you were! Who you can still be. It's what the voices said, that only humanity can save you. Murdering your own girlfriend is proof that you have no humanity, you're just a monster! You're just a lost cause. Stay here and rot, asshole.”  
I grabbed the vortex manipulator that had materialized on her wrist and tore it off. Before anything could be done, I pressed some buttons and vanished. 

Part 7  
Newspaper stories: December 1st, 2015  
A vortex manipulator stored within the National Museum in Seattle last night was stolen and the culprit fled the scene. He is suspected to have been Drake Culvert, according to the security guards. The vortex manipulator was stolen right before the museum closed and has yet to turn up. His girlfriend, Navy Theodore, who works on the Seattle Daily editorial team has also vanished, suggesting that she may have been involved in the crime. More information will be revealed after the police conference on December 3rd.

The mauling that took place on November 25th have still many questions. When the family members were so horribly murdered that night, 17-year-old Nicole Westin’s remains were not recovered. The police are looking into her disappearance. While nothing has been released, rumors that she committed the crime are floating about, however a motive is still in question. 

The Doctor and Amy were silent as the TARDIS flew into the time vortex. Amy gave The Doctor a hug, and he didn't squirm like he normally did when hugged.  
“So there's no chance he's alright?” Amy asked as the TARDIS landed by her house.  
“Pressing random buttons? A chance he survived is the slimmest in the universe. Even slimmer if he landed back on Earth at the right time. I'm sure he's dead. I'm sorry, Amy.”  
Amy wiped her tears away and gave him a solemn smile. She walked out to see Rory waiting for her. The Doctor then flew off. To where, he didn't know. Just away.  
The TARDIS finally landed. He stood there, silently weeping, until he finally got the nerve to open the door. The date on the monitor read November 30th, 2015.  
Outside he saw someone he thought he'd never see.  
“Navy! Navy, over here!” he shouted. The girl ran up.  
“Who are you?” she asked.  
“Did something happen to your boyfriend?”  
“Yeah, he just disappeared. Do you know what happened?”  
“It's a long story.” 

Someone knocked on the door. Rose Marvin stood up from her couch and glanced through the peephole. Once she realized who it was, she unlatched the door and grabbed the person in a great big hug. Rose was crying and so was the visitor.  
“What happened, I thought you were dead?” Rose asked as she got a good look at the visitor. The next emotions in her eyes were: confusion, fear, and then sadness. “You look terrible. God, you look worse than terrible, you look dead.”  
“It's a long story.” 

Part 8  
I had been living with Rose and her older brother for a month now. I explained everything. She believed me and allowed me to hide from the law. Nobody could’ve possibly known I was here, so as long as I didn't go in public, I had no chance of being discovered. The soot didn’t wash off, unfortunately, so I was stuck looking like I fell down into a coal mine. (Heh…)  
Rose got some contacts and a crap ton of makeup, and we did our best to make me look normal so I didn’t have to remember what happened. I still got a craving for possessing someone else, and I had to ignore it, or else I might end up like… him. Thinking of my family helped me push them away, although my hands started blurring and fading out of existence, like my body was rejecting it.  
I didn’t have to eat, sleep, drink, anything. I did so anyway, it was a return to normalcy. Of course, everything was ruined by a man in a blue box.  
The box appeared at midnight. I knew because I was awake and staring at the clock when I heard it. The groaning, wheezing noise that jolted me echoed through the house. I saw it appear at the foot of the bed I was sleeping in. I roared and threw a lamp at it. Not my finest hour. It shattered on the box.  
“Jeez, I don’t throw lamps whenever you show up unannounced,” the scottish voice said. Out stepped old man Doctor with a smirk on his face. “Come on, Nick, we must save people!”  
“I’m not going back!” I shouted and threw a pen at him from the nightstand. He ducked as it flew by him. “You know what happened. You were there. Navy and Drake are gone. And now Amy is off with suspenders doing god-knows-what.”  
“No, no no, I’ve been thinking. After all, I’ve had over a hundred years of thinking. And I think I know just how to save both Navy and Drake. Amy… not so much. Her path is her own path, and it’s best we leave it alone. But come with me and we can save the others.” The Doctor held out his hand. “But only if you trust me.”  
I remembered how Navy trusted me and I shook my head. “Obviously you need to learn how to give people space.” I grabbed a box from under the bed and pulled out the stolen vortex manipulator. I started strapping it onto my wrist.  
The Doctor ran up faster than I expected and grabbed hold of my wrist. He stared into my eyes. “Listen to me. It’s a bloody miracle that you even managed to teleport to Earth by not knowing how to use this thing. A second go will guarantee your death.”  
My hand started blurring. “Careful, Doctor, the wraith in me hasn’t been fed in over a month. I can’t control it, either. Keep touching me and I’ll start consuming you until there’s nothing of us both.”  
The Doctor kept looking at me. I was too occupied my his gaze that I didn’t realize he was punching numbers into the vortex manipulator until he pressed a final button and we disappeared together.  
Collapsing on the ground, ooh, I’ve missed that, both of us tumbled and hit bamboo stalks. I rubbed my head and groaned really loudly. My vision swam and I swore I saw three times too many bamboo stalks.  
“You came back.”  
I looked up to see Drake in Navy’s body. (Should I call them a girl or boy? Ah, jesus, now I know why people couldn’t keep my gender straight. I will use male pronouns for them.) He glared over me with the face that haunted my nightmares. I felt a heart-wrenching feeling in my chest and I curled up in pain.  
“Nick, have you come to rescue me?” Drake asked. He was using her voice. Her voice. I had to end this, I was being tortured. It was now or never, and I honestly didn’t want to endure this any longer. I’ve had a normal life for a month, and all I wanted was to go back to Rose’s house forever. I acted reflexively and knew that this was all how the voices foresaw it. This was the end. (But I don’t see any damn credits rolling, so I call BS on the end for right now.)  
I leaped up and snagged his hand (much like The Doctor did mine. Is that foreshadowing? I don’t know, Ms. Thompson failed me in my freshman english class. I curse you, Ms. Thompson!) and placed it against my own head.  
“Take my pain. Take it all. See how ready I am to save you, you emotionless piece of shit!” I shouted. I’m not sure The Doctor appreciated my language, but it was worth it. It was probably better than cursing in whatever language his species used. “Know what it’s like to have someone trust you and end up getting them killed!”  
I could feel it leave my mind. The pain, the emotions. It felt horrible, feeling my humanity leaving. Wait, hold on a moment. (Flashback noises)  
“Only humanity can save him now. ‘Til to his monster does he bow.” (End flashback noises)  
The voices didn’t mean Drake’s humanity like I though they did. They didn’t specify which humanity. They meant mine. Oh my god! My heart soared, more from figuring out the puzzle than the feelings of anger and stuff leaving me.  
Drake’s face contorted. He didn’t have time to say anything as his (Navy’s) body contorted into awkward positions and the blurring effect surrounded his (Navy’s) whole body. I saw him start to separate from Navy and before I knew it they were back in their own bodies. It worked. My plan worked.  
Navy looked up at me and by the look in her eyes I knew that she didn’t remember a thing while she was being controlled by Drake. “Um, Nick? You look different. Wearing new clothes? Did I miss something?”  
Drake shook his head. “Did I just… what happened?”  
Both of them had no clue what had just happened. “I just saved both of your lives!” I hugged them both. “I did it!”  
Something roared. I pulled myself away from the two confused people and glanced around. The Creed, losing their master, were probably pretty mad at being manipulated into killing people. They launched themselves at Drake. I was pretty pumped up, so I didn’t even think about doing this, but I pushed Drake and Navy out of the way and felt the Creed slam into me. There were at least four that rammed their claws into my chest. My first thought was that I was immortal, so I can’t die. I genuinely believed that and put every single ounce of hope into that one thought.  
The Doctor shouted my name and suddenly the noise from his sunglasses (I guess they make the same noise as the stick that I never learned the name of) ripped through the air and the Creed scattered instantly.  
I felt blood leaking from my chest. I didn’t feel any pain, since Drake had all of mine. I didn’t feel anything as I watched the blood pour out onto the ground. I felt light-headed, well, like I did always, but this time more than ever.  
The Doctor was over me in a split second. He touched my shoulder. “No. You’ll be alright. Wraiths can’t die, you’ll be fine.”  
“Hey, Doctor, remember when you said that I’d have a killer headache? Yeah I’m kinda feeling that now.” I coughed weakly and blood flew into the pool collecting under me. “Gross,” I said with a frown. “This is the end.”  
“No, your wounds will heal any second, just hold on.” The Doctor cupped my face in his hand.  
“Stop lying, Doctor. Both you and I know that if a wound is too bad, we can’t recover from it. All I want you to do is get Navy and Drake home safely and return the vortex manipulator to the museum. Let Rose know that I’m in a better place now. And for god’s sake, don’t ever let Clara go. Also, never take her to the Void Galaxy or the ghost planet. That place is too spooky to have any tourists peeking around it.”  
The Doctor mouthed the word ‘no’ and started crying.  
“Oh, big deal, old man, I feel fine. That might be because I don't have any pain anymore, but I think it’s because I gave my life to save two more. That’s a gain of one life. Now, old man, don’t cry for me. I’ll be with my family, in whatever hell’s been procured for the Westin family. Probably a world without Christmas. Oh, boy, here I come!”  
The Doctor didn’t seem to be cheered up by my jokes.  
“Doctor. The Doctor. You’ve been plagued with too much loss. Don’t dwell on what you could have and concentrate on what you do have. You have two very confused young adults, and one’s going to have to cope with immortality. Well, maybe not total immortality, but you see the picture. Go to them. Take them home, Doctor. Maybe we’ll meet once your time runs out, old man. It looks like it’s catching up.”  
My vision darkened. I relaxed and laid completely on the ground. Alright, floor. Let’s go get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is also available on fanfiction.net.  
> This is not heavily edited, so sorry for all of the spelling and grammar errors. If I find any when rereading it I'll be sure to edit them out.  
> Please leave your feedback! It encourages me to write more, and perhaps I'll write a sequel or at least another Doctor Who fic.  
> Thanks again!


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